Adoption: Laughter and Tears
If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be an experience you'll never forget. Witnessing children in poverty, children discarded, children stunted both physically and emotionally, will stir your heart beyond belief. And adopting a child is a joy as great as witnessing the first sharp intake of breath by your very own newborn infant. The suffering of orphans vary from country to country, but even in the US, where conditions are as good as they get outside of Western Europe, less than 20% of those that age out of the foster care system are completely self-sufficient as young adults. The conditions elsewhere are sad and sadder, and the need for families to take these children home is dire, in some cases a matter of life and death. The orphans in Sierra Leone bear pain and suffering that no human being should have to endure. Food, potable water, and healthcare are in short supply. The median age in Sierra Leone is 17. Due to war and shortages of food supply, many of these children won't make it to that median age. Children waiting for adoption in Sierra Leone. The future looks bleak for even the average orphan. In Russia, 40% of the orphans who never find homes as children become homeless as adults, and 10% commit suicide after aging out of the system. For those with special needs the future is even grimmer. Disabilities are not tolerated anywhere in the world as well as they are in the United States. Wheelchair ramps and accessible public bathrooms are just a couple of outward signs of how integrated our society is. In many countries, special needs orphans will never leave the institution. In Russia, they are considered incurable invalids and put in a sanatorium for life. Kimberly Reese described the situation in both Hungary and Bulgaria, "I saw NO special needs people ANYWHERE outside the orphanages." Susan Buchholz adopted from Vietnam twice. Both of her Vietnamese daughters are special needs children. The only people she saw outside the orphanage with disabilities were those peddling postcards to tourist. She also witnessed many children begging on the streets. This image still haunts her. Poverty is a way of life in Vietnam. She describes bringing home her second daughter, Teresa. "Even at 14 months of age, she had only had formula and "rice soup" which I imagine to be a kind of rice cereal. Thai, from International Mission of Hope, told us that Vietnamese families do no teach their children to feed themselves until they are 7 or 8 years old to limit their intake of food. He said the teachers in the younger grades also feed their students for the same reason." Bulgaria's orphans suffer emotional neglect. Kimberly Reese adopted two children from Hungary and one from Bulgaria. "Ella's orphanage in Bulgaria was awful. I can say that both of my Hungarian children were well cared for and came home very stable emotionally. My Bulgarian child was clearly mistreated. ?she was like a wild animal. It was very sad." Nikki from Hungary, and Ella from Bolivia. Like Susan, Kimberly adopted special needs children. Kimberly's oldest child, Nikki, is missing most of her left hand. Nikki was offered to Kimberly and her husband by the adoption agency and since they didn't think her special need was a big deal, they accepted her. "Once we got Nikki home, we realized that these kids rarely ever get adopted in Europe-- unless by Americans. Nikki is so wonderful. We requested special needs after that." Ella's special needs were emotional. Their youngest, David, was adopted from Hungary and doesn't have any hands. "Because both Nikki and David have upper limb deformities, Ella always wants to be just like them. Strange, isn't it? She wants a hand like Nikki's or arms like David's. I have seen her try to eat or drink using her elbows like David." These disabilities are a part of a natural life to Susan's and Kimberly's families. Life is a joy with their beautiful children, and if anything the disabilities create laughter. "One of the funniest comments I remember was when we first brought Nikki home. My cousin had adopted two kids form the states and we were having a party to celebrate. We were at the pizza place and my little cousin said, 'Kim, don't panic! They have got to be here somewhere!' He was so serious that I started to get concerned as he almost frantically looked around for something. I said, 'what is it, baby?!' He said, 'I'm sure Nikki had them when she came in but she has dropped three of her fingers!' It was a scream!" Many parents choose international adoption just for this reason. They can offer a better-- a much better-- life to a child from an underprivileged country. They can see an angel where others have only seen an invalid. They can offer steak and chocolate cake to a child that has hungered for rice. Hundreds of thousands of children are waiting for families to rescue them from coming of age in an orphanage. For most the wait is futile. Sadder yet are the potential matches between orphans and families that go unpaired. There are thousands of families with the financial and emotional resources it takes to raise another child. They are willing and eager to care for and love a child as their own but unable to come up with the large adoption fees required upfront. The $20,000 price tag is a hard hurdle to overcome. Many adopting families beg and borrow enough to cover these initial fees from families and friends. Those who are able to cash in their IRAs or take out a second mortgage are fortunate. Some run up credit card debt to cover adoption fees. Many give up and never consider adopting again. The road to adoption is steep, but the rewards are tremendous. Imagine giving a child a warm bubble bath before bed. Now imagine that this is a brand new experience for your child. Warm bath water is a luxury many of these children never know. Even if you are unable to adopt a child yourself you can still make a difference by donating to a children's charity which offers adoption grants to families adopting older or special needs children. About The Author Tanya Sturman is the volunteer director for A Child's Desire, Inc., a 501 c(3) children's charity. A Child's Desire offers adoption grants to children waiting over a year in an orphanage for a family to choose them. More information can be found at www.aChildsDesire.org grants@achildsdesire.org
Related News
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Parenting Problem? 5 Simple Things That Will Help
What is a parenting problem?
Hearing Our Seriously Distressed Children
How do we deal with our seriously distressed children and adolescents?
Dads, Handle your Kids Mistakes
One of the most difficult parts of being a father
is learning to accept your children's mistakes. It
certainly can be easy to be loving, supportive,
and helpful when your children are mistake-free,
but most fathers who are paying attention don't
find too many mistake-free periods of their
Parenting Your Teenager: 4 Traps to Avoid
4 traps to avoid
Really Good News About Your Children?s Video Games
Research published by University of Rochester neuroscientists C. Shawn Green and Daphne Bavelier has grabbed national attention for suggesting that playing "action" video and computer games has positive effects ? enhancing student's visual selective attention. But that finding is just one small part of a more important message that all parents and educators need to hear: video games are not the enemy, but the best opportunity we have to engage our kids in real learning.
A Quiz for Parents: What Are They REALLY Learning?
Picture this. Your child comes home with a special assignment from school. He's very excited about it and puts in a lot of time to perfect it. He's thrilled with the result and can't wait to take it to school.
Mommies and Me Special Time
Creating and making special memories with your child is very important, especially for your child's development.
Preparing Your Child for the Three Rs
There is little doubt that reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic are crucial elements in the education of any child. A child's ability to later cope in the adult world, to have a career, to take charge of his financial affairs and to live independently depends to a large extent on his mastery of these skills.
Clean Slates and Fresh Starts
Hope, excitement and anxiety all wrapped up in fresh haircuts and new clothes. Pens, pencils and notebooks, the smell of a new box of crayons and a brand new book; it all speaks of such promise.
Top Seven Tips for Back-to-School Success
Parents play a critical role in their child's success. These seven tips from http://www.goalsettingforstudents.com explain how to help your child set and achieve goals for the new school year.
Over-Focused ADHD
The least flexible character in all of the stories of Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin has got to be Rabbit. Oh, he can get a lot of things done, and he's the one character who will be prepared when winter comes, but he has a very hard time shifting from one activity to another. He is absolutely "task oriented" and is focused to whatever that task might be.
Are Public Schools A Menace To Your Kids? -- 11 Danger Signals
Parents, do you have children who do poorly in school, or are bored or frustrated with their classes or teachers? In contrast to what most public-school officials will tell you, in most cases the problem lies with the schools, not with your children.
Children Who Talk to Angels
What do you do when your child begins talking to some unseen entity? How do you determine if it's a psychic event, an imaginary playmate, or some sign of a mental health issue? You want to handle things in a way that is best for your child and of course in a way that isn't going to harm them in any way. You also want to make sure that you speak from a spiritual belief system that you can believe in. Your child will know if you are uncomfortable with the topic or if you don't believe in what you are saying. They'll also be able to tell if you are scared or threatened by the subject matter. You will want to fully research the concepts and choices before saying something that you might later regret. The first response should probably be no response. After all, it may just be a fabrication to gain attention. Kids do that.
What To Do With A 6 Year Old Smart Mouth Know It All
Just the other day, I was talking to some other stay at home moms and asked if they were struggling with any difficulties. "Yes," one piped up almost immediately, "discipline problems with my 6 year old smart mouth
know-it-all! I don't want to spank, and don't, but he seems to laugh at time out, privilage loss, etc. What do I do?"
Picky Eaters - The Dawn of Understanding
"In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't
danced on television." (Erma Bombeck, 1927-1996)
Are You Addicted to Your Children?
Is it possible to be using our children addictively?
Baptisms And Alternative Ways To Hold A Naming Ceremony
There are three types of service available at a Church.
The traditional Infant Baptism (which most people call a 'christening'), here the parents declare the child to be a follower of Jesus Christ;
A service of Dedication, when the parents make promises about the upbringing of their child - these services are common in Baptist churches; andA Thanksgiving for the Gift of a Child, a service of Blessing which is based on what Jesus did when children were brought to Him. This service is increasingly popular in the Church of England as parents are less inclined to make promises on the child's behalf that he or she may not wish to keep later in life.
Many parents don't go to church themselves and don't want to have their child named in a church service. There are alternatives.You can hold a family gathering at your own home or a hired venue near home at which the baby is named. You can do this yourself, have a senior member of the family perform the naming, or bring someone in to hold a formal ceremony.The Baby Naming Society will help you to put on a religious or non-religious ceremony. For less than £30, they will provide:
A personalised script from a choice of ceremonies;
A short programme which can be copied for your guests;
A certificate for you to keep as a memento of the service;Copies of readings chosen from the Society's selection.
Camps for Troubled Teens: Disciplines and Wilderness
Parents looking for a quick fix usually choose troubled teen camps. There are two types of teen camps: boot camps and summer or wilderness camps. They usually last from one to six weeks, and while teens may shows signs of improvement for days or even weeks after coming home, they often revert back to old behaviors after the fear of authority disappears.
How A Home Water Filter Can Reduce Your Child?s Risk Of Learning Disabilities
Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person can be exposed to in his
lifetime. Besides damage from radioactive or nuclear chemicals, significant
exposure to lead can cause some of the most severe and even fatal health effects
possible.
Tips For a First-Time Dad
So you're going to become a father. Now is not the time to panic. You've got lots of time to get used to the idea, before that new life you helped create, arrives to join your own. These tips for a first-time Dad will help you to survive the pre-baby and post-birth jitters.
|
