How to Create an Emotional Bond with Your Child
One of the most powerful tools that parents have for raising their children is the natural emotional bond that exists between them and their child. Children who feel close to their parents will have a strong desire to obey them. No child with this type of connection to his parents will want to risk hurting that connection by disobeying them. When such a relationship exists, the mere look of dissatisfaction on the face of a parent will usually be enough to curb inappropriate behavior. This bond is so strong and so potent that it lasts even through adolescence when most of the disciplinary tools at our disposal are ineffective. Often, it is the only tool we have in guiding our teenage children. Parents who do not have such a connection with their children have lost a vital resource necessary for successful parenting. In addition, this bond is essential for the child's emotional stability. A recent psychology experiment studied people in their forties, whose parent were emotionally distant from them. These people were often depressed and lacked a sense of emotional well being. They had more difficulty in adjusting to the work environment and new social situations. How do you develop this type of loving bond with your child? It begins in your child's infancy and is built by giving your child the love and affection that he needs. Many well-meaning mothers are completely unaware that their own children are suffering from the lack of physical touch. There are many reasons for this. Most people associate deprived children as those who are neglected, abused, or chronically ill. However, the truth is that many of our children who come from good homes are not getting the physical warmth and love that they need. In our two-income society, unaffectionate caretakers, who provide for the child's physical needs with as little warmth and contact as possible, often raise children. Also, many of us did not receive enough physical love and warmth as children. As a result, it is not natural to us to cuddle, coo, kiss, and love our children affectionately. In addition, some children naturally need more physical warmth. These touch-deprived children fill our schools. They are the ones who often look sad and depressed, suffering from not getting their physical needs for contact. The United States is one of the richest countries in the history of the world. Yet, our children in general are touch starved. We are busy with our lives and our careers. We often raise our children in broken homes. We as parents are suffering under the burden of so much physical and emotional stress, that we are often just glad to make it through the day without hitting or screaming at our children. Who has time to give them affection? Yet, this is what our children crave most from us. We fill our houses with toys and things for our children, but it is us that they really need. There is much talk about the generation gap. We all know that adolescents naturally rebel. Sometimes we look at our little children and wonder what is going to be in ten years when this cute little four-year-old turns fourteen. Will he be one of the children who abuses drugs? Is he going to steal? Is he going to do worse? What is going to be? You need to take the time now, and give your child the physical warmth and love that your child needs. If you build strong bonds of love with your child now, while he is still young, then all these problems that you read about, will be just that; things that you read about. You will not experience these problems in your own home, because you have developed a strong relationship with you child. About The Author Anthony Kane, MD is a physician, an international lecturer, and director of special education. He is the author of a book, numerous articles, and a number of online programs dealing with ADHD (addadhdadvances.com/childyoulove.html) treatment, ODD, parenting issues (addadhdadvances.com/betterbehavior.html), and education. You may visit his website at http://addadhdadvances.com. To sign up for the free ADD ADHD Advances online journal send a blank email to: subscribe@addadhdadvances.com?subject=subscribeartcity akane@addadhdadvances.com
Related News
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How to Find The Best Time To Be With Your Kids
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well."
-Josh Billings
The Scientific Breakthrough That Allows Every Couple To Choose The Gender Of Their Baby
The advances in science over the past century have been breath-taking. We've seen man stroll casually on the moon, watched in awe as scientists cloned and brought a sheep to life using nothing more than a few strands of microscopic DNA and we witnessed some stunning improvements in the fields of medicine and care ? for example, Viagra to some has been the discovery of a lifetime.
Time To Connect With Your Teen
While on a recent trip to the grocery store, I happened to hear a mother telling her teenage daughter not to answer her ringing cell phone. Of course, the daughter explained to her mother that "she just had to answer it" As the mother was in the middle of stating how she barely gets two minutes of her daughters time in a day, and her daughter answering the ever so "important" call anyways, all I could think was how much I could relate with this poor woman. In fact, I'm sure most parents with teenage children can relate to her as I did.
Create Your Dream Family
There has been much attention in the media of late on the transformation of families, Dr Phil's Phenomenal Family Series and Super Nanny to name a few. I recently had the pleasure of being featured on a radio program, Coaching Corners in New York in which I spoke about creating your dream family by becoming the parent you want to be. Many parents have this hope but do not know where to begin and how to get there. Others know what to do but get side tracked; finding their present state of their family is far from what they want it to be. I hope this article will help those who are new parents create your dream family and those seeking to transform your family. I want to make parenting easier, more meaningful and encourage parents in their efforts withthe following four principles.
War Declared On Instant Messenger: How to Stop Your Child from Wasting Their Life Away Online
Hey Parents! I hate to tell you, but there is no such thing as "useful instant messaging". Your crafty child might try to take advantage of your lack of "Techie" know how when they say in that whiney voice... "But Mom?I'm IMing my friends about homework." Don't buy it! They are simply playing up the school is important bit so they can get you off their back.
A Man and His Baby
When a couple steps forth with a baby in tow everything in life is stable and normal. People hold open doors, hard shopkeepers "chuck" and go all gooey before catching themselves and generally life is an easy ride. But gentlemen, when he who dares to step-out with a baby in tow (minus the wife) life becomes a series of obstacles that never ceases to surprise.
Childrens Safety in Public Places - 10 Useful Tips
My kids ask me all the time to take them to playgrounds or any other public place. I can't help to think that the risk involved in this is greater than we are often aware of. I have four kids, which makes the task of keeping track of everyone very stressful. To me, taking my children to a public place is not "a walk in the park" anymore. Actually, I feel that I am a little traumatized. My 8 year old son, (a very active little guy), has been lost 3 times in public places. Once in a huge department store at the age of 3, another time in a natural park where he took off in his bicycle by himself at the age of 4 and the latest time in a crowded public fair at the age of 5. Fortunately he has always been found save and sound.
Water! Water Everywhere!
What one word best sums up summer fun? Water. I bet your favorite memories as a child involved getting wet, running through sprinklers on a sweltering afternoon, water fights in the backyard, wading at the beach, playing on the slip & slide, and skipping rocks across the river. Your kids will relish the same experiences if they share them with you.
Sometimes Our Childrens Questions Answer Our Own
I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he asked, "Mom, will we always have Tanner?"
Working Moms: Too Busy for Your Children?
17 Quick Ways to Strengthen the Bonds of Love
The Truth Behind Having Children
In the beginning, having children was just a byproduct of sexual instinct. Later it was a means to increase manpower for survival (hunting the mastodon, tilling the fields). It was just a part of life, even what one aspired to. A strapping daughter was great, a robust son perhaps even better.
Hair Care for Children
Salon visits can be scary experiences for small children: They are boring, full of strangers and strange smelling products, you are being ordered to sit still for ages, whilst some idiot is doing terrible things to your hair which you didn't want to happen in the first place. Life is sooo unfair!
Parenting Your Teenager: Driving and Having a Car is a Privilege, Not a Right
Q. My teenage son is turning 16 early next year and he's already lobbying us for a new car. He says all his friends are getting new cars, that he deserves one because it's his right when he turns 16, and he won't drive what he calls a POS car. Do you think he is trying to manipulate us, and what do you think we should do? And since he won't tell us what a POS car is, do you know?
Really Good News About Your Children?s Video Games
Research published by University of Rochester neuroscientists C. Shawn Green and Daphne Bavelier has grabbed national attention for suggesting that playing "action" video and computer games has positive effects ? enhancing student's visual selective attention. But that finding is just one small part of a more important message that all parents and educators need to hear: video games are not the enemy, but the best opportunity we have to engage our kids in real learning.
When Time Out Dont Work
Joey steps away from his time out chair "I won't sit!" His mother is frustrated and throws her hands in the air..Time out is just not working for this mom. Many kids do not respond to time out so what do parents do???
Eco-Parenting
Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the rapidly rising demand for natural, environmentally friendly and ethically sound parenting products and highlights some of the concerns that have fuelled these demands.
How to Create an Emotional Bond with Your Child
One of the most powerful tools that parents have for raising their children is the natural emotional bond that exists between them and their child. Children who feel close to their parents will have a strong desire to obey them. No child with this type of connection to his parents will want to risk hurting that connection by disobeying them. When such a relationship exists, the mere look of dissatisfaction on the face of a parent will usually be enough to curb inappropriate behavior. This bond is so strong and so potent that it lasts even through adolescence when most of the disciplinary tools at our disposal are ineffective. Often, it is the only tool we have in guiding our teenage children. Parents who do not have such a connection with their children have lost a vital resource necessary for successful parenting.
How Effective is Attend in Helping Children with Attention Disorders?
In 1996-97 we were contracted by VAXA International of Tampa, FL to provide clinical, "real world" information on the effectiveness of their product called "Attend." Their product was a homeopathic nutraceutical medicine, meaning that it contains homeopathic medicines, plus nutritional medicines. The product has over 70 selected ingredients including specific amino acid combinations, essential fatty acids, phospholipid complexes, vitamins, minerals, and more.
Playful Parenting - More than Just Fun and Games
Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents believe their children should be doing something more productive than merely having fun. But, actually, play fosters physical, emotional, intellectual and social development. Encouraging your child to play is vital for his development as well as his happiness.
Exposing the Damage: TV and Kids
There are millions of young children in this
country who are being terribly mistreated by their
parents.
|
