Got To, Get To ? Change The Way Your Family Thinks
I recently heard a story that has literally changed the way
that I, and my family, think about life. The story is as
follows: There was once a high-powered woman in her 30s who ran her
own company and was massively successful in business. Yet
every single day, at 10am, she visited her elderly mother,
who was in an old peoples' home. When asked if she could
attend meetings at that time, she would reply, "I'm sorry,
I've got to visit my mother". She sometimes resented the
commitment and was occasionally ridiculed, but nevertheless
answered, "No, I'm sorry, I've got to visit my mother." One day her mother died. Soon afterwards she was asked if
she could make a meeting at 10am the following day. She
started to reply, "No, I'm sorry, I've got to visit my
mother", but of course quickly realised that this was no
longer the case. Sadly, she realised that for many years she
had been saying, "I've got to visit my mother" when what she should have instead been saying was, "I get to visit my
mother". She would never "get to" visit her mother again. So how does the story relate to other situations? I have
been surprised by how many times the story has seemed
appropriate since I heard it, just a few weeks ago. It
applies to so many different aspects of family and working
life, from the large to the mundane. For example, I first
told my son the story when he was complaining about some
extra French classes he was having at weekends ("I can't
believe I've got to go to the French tutor"). I explained
that he is lucky to "get to" have the French classes: lucky
that we care enough to notice he needs them, and lucky that
we can afford to pay for them. I thought of the story last night when my little girl was
using every delaying tactic in the book about going to bed,
and just refused to settle down. I caught myself thinking,
"Oh no, I've got to go upstairs, miss the end of the
television show I'm watching, and calm her down and settle
her into bed" ? but quickly replaced the thought with
something along the lines of "I'm lucky that I "get to" spend
5 quiet minutes with this funny, amazing little girl, even
if I am tired and could do with some rest!" And I thought of the story again just this morning when the
beeper on my tumble dryer annoyed me into emptying my clean
washing! I turned some very negative, lazy thinking around
by reminding myself that I was lucky to have a tumble dryer,
the clothes to put into it, and the family to be washing
them for! It was still a chore but somehow it didn't seem
such a bad one anymore. My husband reminds himself of the story when the alarm clock
goes off early in the morning and he struggles out of bed
and to the train. He "gets to" go to work. Many people don't.
And I think of it when I am sitting, uninspired, in front of
my computer, wishing that I didn't have admin or website
chores to do for Activity Village. The thought doesn't last
long. I may have admin and website chores to do, but I also
"get to" provide activities and inspiration to parents,
teachers and children around the world every week. How lucky
can I be? Lindsay Small is the creator and editor of Activity
Village.co.uk - providing the ultimate one-stop resource for
parents and teachers looking to educate and entertain their
kids. Visit the website at http://ww.ActivityVillage.co.uk
or subscribe to the free newsletter at
http://www.ActivityVillage.co.uk/free_newsletter.co.uk
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