Parenting Your Teenager: 4 Dangerous Myths


MYTH: All teens have to rebel, and the teen years will be miserable years for a family.

REALITY: Teens do have to separate from their parents and families. That's good - otherwise kids would be living at home when they are 35.

They do, however, have to earn the privilege of being in charge.

MYTH: Once teens rebel, you have lost them forever.

REALITY: This is the fear of every parent, but it doesn't happen in most cases. As the proverb says, "Raise up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it."

Two very important factors are implied here:

1) At some point, it is likely they could "depart" from what you have taught, and

2) they will come back to it.

This notion is elaborated on in Miller Newton's book "Adolescence: Surviving the Perilous Journey." Miller calls this notion Withdrawal - Isolation - Re-emergence. His view is that all adolescents withdraw, and some will go so far as to isolate themselves. They will, however, re-emerge at some point. Part of the parents' job then is to maintain the connection so a relationship can exist when they re-emerge.

MYTH: Raising teens is easy if you do it right.

REALITY: If you listen to some so-called parenting experts, raising kids - even teens - is a walk in the park.

According to them, the only reason you are having difficulty is because you are doing it wrong (not like them, in other words).

The reality is that parenting is a labor-intensive task. In order to raise kids and teach moral character, you have to go against the prevailing culture.

MYTH: Your teen years were just like those of your teen-ager.

REALITY: Many of the character issues they are dealing with are very much like the ones you faced. But the world, atmosphere and culture in which they are dealing with these issues is incredibly different. Don't make the mistake of thinking it's all the same.

Leading parenting expert Jeff Herring is a teen and family therapist, parenting coach, speaker and syndicated parenting and relationship columnist. Jeff invites you to visit ParentingYourTeenager.com for 100's of tips and tools for parenting through the teenage years. You can also subscribe to his free weekly internet newsletter "ParentingYourTeenager."







Related News



Read and be seen: parenting skills for dads - Great Dad

Read and be seen: parenting skills for dads
Great Dad, California -9 hours ago
That's according to new parenting advice due to be presented to experts in Australia this week, the Sydney Morning Herald reports. ...

Parenting Tips - Modesto Bee

Parenting Tips
Modesto Bee, CA -15 minutes ago
By Tom McMahon Yes, 'tis the season for colds and flu. Almost 22 million school days are lost each year to the common cold alone. With a little effort, ...

Parenting class offered at Firelands - Port Clinton News Herald

Parenting class offered at Firelands
Port Clinton News Herald, OH -3 hours ago
Among the essential information offered to participants, parents will be taught a step-by-step approach to quickly soothe the fussiest baby. ...

(ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco parenting) - Examiner.com

(ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco parenting)
Examiner.com -4 hours ago
by Nate Ferguson, Real Estate Headlines Examiner If you’re a first-time home buyer, the fixer-upper route may be a good bet. But if you want to sell your ...

Culinary bad boy Anthony Bourdain dishes on parenting and food - The Canadian Press

The Canadian Press

Culinary bad boy Anthony Bourdain dishes on parenting and food
The Canadian Press, MIAMI BEACH -1 hour ago
MIAMI BEACH — After spending years introducing television viewers to unusual eats from around the globe, culinary bad boy Anthony Bourdain is focused on a ...

Anderson court records detail accused killer's commitment to parenting - Anderson Independent Mail

Anderson court records detail accused killer's commitment to parenting
Anderson Independent Mail, SC -22 hours ago
In 2006, family court officials ordered both parents to submit to drug tests and to comply with court-ordered behaviors, including the exposure of their ...


Gay adoption ruling favors good parenting over sexual orientation - Sun-Sentinel.com

Gay adoption ruling favors good parenting over sexual orientation
Sun-Sentinel.com, FL -9 hours ago
As a parent myself, all I can do (and it is not enough) is commend Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Cindy Lederman for a fair and just ruling, which put the welfare ...
New blow to adoption banPalm Beach Post
all 3 news articles

(ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco parenting) - Examiner.com

Examiner.com

(ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco parenting)
Examiner.com -4 hours ago
by Tim Wright, Houston Workforce Performance Examiner Change is not just something leaves do. Change occurs in our efforts to improve profitability, ...

Positive Parenting Practices May Prevent Aggressive Behavior Among ... - AAP Grand Rounds (registration)

Positive Parenting Practices May Prevent Aggressive Behavior Among ...
AAP Grand Rounds (registration), IL -17 hours ago
Positive parenting and early puberty in girls: protective effects against aggressive behavior. Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 2008;162(8):781–786; ...

Learning Parenting 101: Better Late Than Never - Hartford Courant

Learning Parenting 101: Better Late Than Never
Hartford Courant, United States -16 hours ago
Welcome to Parenting 101, a two-part introduction to the fundamentals of effective child-rearing. Upon passing this course, which will conclude with next ...