Parenting Your Teenager: 3 More Dangerous Myths
MYTH: If you have not parented as well as you would have liked up until now, it's too late to try anything different. REALITY: This is one of those seductive little lies that sounds so close to the truth. But it's not. Even if you gave up being in charge of your kids long ago, it's still not too late to parent in a different way. They won't like it at first, but you don't need their permission, and you never did. You can, over time, get their cooperation. MYTH: Parents must be in control at all times. REALITY: Well, yes and no. If you are asking me if parents need to be in charge of the family at all times, then absolutely yes. If you are asking me do parents need to control everything a teen-ager does, then absolutely no. As we put them in charge of more and more areas, we are giving them enough rope, not to hang themselves, but to grow. If they demonstrate they can be in charge in a certain area, then they can have that one. MYTH: Teen-agers are really just little adults who need their parents hardly at all. REALITY: Wrong, wrong, wrong. Teens, though trying on for size some of the responsibilities of the adult world, are really children who are still developing. They need us as parents to guide them through and around the traps of adolescence and young adulthood. I saw a powerful illustration of this notion at a conference several years ago. The presenters placed several open bear traps at various places on the stage. A blind-folded teen-ager was placed on one side of the stage, his dad on the other. The kid was to walk across the stage to his father, who represented adulthood. He made a move to take a step, and the father yelled, "Stop!" The father then walked over to the son, took off the blindfold and guided his son through the traps into "adulthood." Now that's parenting a teen. Leading parenting expert Jeff Herring is a teen and family therapist, parenting coach, speaker and syndicated parenting and relationship columnist. Jeff invites you to visit ParentingYourTeenager.com for 100's of tips and tools for parenting through the teenage years. You can also subscribe to his free weekly internet newsletter "ParentingYourTeenager."
Related News
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Childrens Safety in Public Places - 10 Useful Tips
My kids ask me all the time to take them to playgrounds or any other public place. I can't help to think that the risk involved in this is greater than we are often aware of. I have four kids, which makes the task of keeping track of everyone very stressful. To me, taking my children to a public place is not "a walk in the park" anymore. Actually, I feel that I am a little traumatized. My 8 year old son, (a very active little guy), has been lost 3 times in public places. Once in a huge department store at the age of 3, another time in a natural park where he took off in his bicycle by himself at the age of 4 and the latest time in a crowded public fair at the age of 5. Fortunately he has always been found save and sound.
The B Word
Former students would probably attest to the fact that few things tried my patience as much as did the statement, "This is boring!" As I reflect back on my many years in the classroom, I can't help but feel a tad bit sorry for the first kid who made the mistake of uttering those words each year. (It was rare to hear the phrase a second time because most kids vividly recalled my "sermon," and they didn't want to risk a repeat performance.)
Where to Look for Affordable Baby Clothes
Once the newness has worn off a little, you will realize that your baby grows very fast. So fast, in fact, that he may need new clothes on the average of every two months during the first year. The sizing of baby clothes just does not apply to most children. For example, my four month old is now wearing 6-12 month clothes. There is no way he will still be in 6-12 month clothes when he is a year old.
Tools to Find Family-Friendly Content
The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational resources abound. Kids can easily find help for their homework blues without venturing to the library. Kids can chat with friends from far away for free; friends who, probably just a few years ago, they would never hear from again. And, of course, there's plenty of entertainment to satisfy the whole family once the chores and homework are complete.
How To Homeschool Without Making Your Child An Outcast
If you are currently homeschooling or considering homeschooling your child, you probably know all the benefits homeschooling can provide. You'll have more control over the curriculum, be able to customize teaching to your child's personal learning style, and avoid the pressures and dangers of public schools. However, are you aware of the major mental and social damage you can cause if you don't make the right choices?
5 Steps to Raising an Optimistic Child
I had just completed a session with 17-year old Julie who suffered from severe depression. Julie believed she was a total failure and would never be able to change anything in her life. Julie also felt all her shortcomings were her own fault.
Thriving As A Family When You Live In The Fast lane
It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change is now an entrenched way of life. Most of us don't blink when new piece of technology comes out. Just the other day I read about the death of the desktop computer. The big lump of plastic and glass that used to sit on my desk has been replaced by a laptop. Email is quickly making those twentieth communication icons, the telephone and the fax, redundant. The way we live, do business, even shop is undergoing rapid change.
Time Out for Adults
"Get down from the table top right now! What are you doing? Floors are for standing on, tables are for eating. You need a time out, young lady. You go to your room and think about how you have been acting today."
Bring On The Music To Help Your Child Learn Faster And More Effectively
Do you remember how you first learned the alphabet? I am quite sure that the majority of us learnt it by singing the ABC Song: 'ABCDEFG-HIJKLMNOP-QRS-TUV-WXY-and-Z...'
Parenting Your Teenager: 6 Things to Stop Doing Right Away
1. STOP focusing on what you are going to make your teen-ager do
Public Schools --- Why On Earth Do We Need Them?
From the time the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in 1620 until the 1850s, most parents taught their children to read at home or sent their children to small private or religious grammar schools. Education was voluntary and local governments did not force parents to send their children to state-controlled schools. Yet, literacy rates in colonial America were far higher than they are today.
Some Thoughts on Counseling Goals for ADHD
What should the goals for counseling be when the patient has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?
Backpacks and Bullies. Is Your Child Prepared?
As the flurry of Back to School activities subside, parents are left to ponder more pressing issues than notebooks, backpacks, and sneakers.
Top Three Reasons To Get Involved At Your Childs School
You may think once your child has gone off to school full-time (officially a First-Grader) that he/she no longer needs you...
Are You Too Busy for Your Kids?
In his recent newsletter "Happy Kids", parenting expert Michael Grose (yes he is an expert with three kids of his own) said:
Secret Of Your Genuis Child
Here is a top secret to make your child genius or ot recognise his geniusness, it is as follows
Graphology for Child development.:- Graphology is the science of understanding the human mind through person's handwriting. When a person writes, the signal in the form of letters get decoded / printed on the paper by the fingers. Graphology aims at understanding & interpreting these signals through the writing. Using this we can know a persons mind so the thoughts, character and behavior.
Four Tips For Alleviating Back To School Anxiety
Back to school preparations are in full-swing. Soon, the first bell of the year will ring and the sounds of summer will be replaced by the voices of school-aged children bemoaning the end of their summer and trying to sort out their new school routines: What building am I in? Who's my teacher this year? Do I really have to take calculus?
Communication Mistakes Parents Often Make - And Easy Ways To Correct Them
As parents, we love our children and want to do the best for them. At times, however, the pressures of living every day create stress and distractions for all of us. We can easily fall into communication habits that are not effective, especially when we need to discipline our children or teenagers, or to talk with them about sensitive issues.
Real Monsters Under Your Bed
There may really be a real monster under your kidâ??s bed!
How to Deal with Your Child?s Inappropriate Behaviour
Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted if their behaviour is mostly positive. But what if your child constantly demonstrates negative behaviour? How are you going to deal with it?
|
