Responsible Fatherhood - A Unique And Irreplaceable Role!
Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy.
Yet I shouldn't have felt that way! My wife had left for work and I was hanging the washing out
to dry. A neighbour from down the way was in his backyard
doing the same. 'Good day for drying', he called. 'Let's
hope the rain stays away.' I had to think about what made me uneasy. Then it hit me.
Two men hanging out the washing! When I was a kid that would never have happened. That was
women's work, after all! And that made me think about the changing role of men
and
fatherhood. Change is seldom easy, hence the deeply buried
sense of unease - even in someone like me who considers
himself an enlightened individual! The image of fatherhood has changed very much in recent
years, hasn't it? We've come a long way from the distant, unemotional,
patriarch figure. The god-like master who provided for his
family, but didn't expect to be troubled by family issues! After World War II there was a definite shift. Men became
much more involved in the play and leisure areas of family
life. Maybe this was due to the separation caused by the war and
consequent feelings of vulnerability. But men still didn't
get involved in household chores! Today we see a much more enlightened image of the male as a
co-parent, getting involved in all aspects of family life
and pulling his weight in the home. Or do we? . . . Are we really there yet? Some men are moving
in the right direction. Others need a gentle push! Perhaps they need encouragement more than anything. Young boys tend to see their dads as role models and often
absorb, even unconsciously, their dads attitudes and habits.
So if some of today's dads haven't witnessed and experienced
the input of an involved father, the role may not come
easily to them. And yet a dad's involvement in family life has so much
benefit both for the children, the mother and the dad
himself. By pulling their weight with the household chores Dads give
a good example to their kids AND they help ease the burden
on an all too often over-burdened Mum. By getting involved in play and educational activities Dads
can help build that vital relationship on which confidence
depends - their own confidence as parents and the confidence
of their kids: - to explore and discover their talents and
abilities
- to learn the boundaries within which they must
operate
- to absorb the values of the person in charge of
them.
So much to be gained, for all parties involved! So if Dad is a rather reluctant participant in family
matters, remember that as well as a firm push he may
need lots of encouragement. After all, the role may not come easily since hundreds of
years on non-involvement are in his genes. Let's all look forward to the day when hanging up the
laundry is no big deal for a Dad! Happy parenting. Why do some parents and children succeed, while others
fail?
Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and
teacher. If you want to develop your parenting
skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be,
visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/for-parents.html
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