Kids And Chores - Make It Easy On Yourself!
My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day. I was busy painting the backyard fence, when their ten-year
old son came out with the vacuum cleaner. He opened the
front panel, removed the bag, and put it in the bin. Then he
took a replacement bag, fitted it, and went back indoors -
probably to get on with the vacuum cleaning! Fifteen minutes later he came out with a large plastic
rubbish bag and put it in the bin too. The young kid was at
ease with his chores. He was his usual pleasant self and
there was no sign of moodiness or resentment. Clearly his parents had taught their kids in a way which -
I have to admit!- my wife and I didn't teach ours. When our family was growing we tended to do most of the
chores ourselves. We were keen - well, my wife was keen! -
to ensure that we shared the chores as a couple. This approach backfired as the kids were growing. Since
there was no clearly defined 'chore chart' and since
requests for their help were only made occasionally, there
was a certain reluctance most of the time. Even today there can be the odd dispute about who should
walk the dog - and loading the dishwasher, it seems, is one
of life's mysteries revealed only to parents. So here's my advice: Don't do what we did! Be like our neighbours and start them young. Bring them up
to realise that if you live in a home, you contribute to the
home. If they grow into this routine, there's unlikely to be
resentment or ill-feeling - provided the chores are
allocated fairly, of course. What about parents whose older kids have got off lightly? Well, you could continue to slave after your charges - but
why not start a new regime? One approach often suggested is that you appeal to the
teenager's sense of duty, highlighting their obligations to
themselves and others. But psychologists tell us that approach is the LEAST likely
to work with teens. It's a fact of human nature that people tend to respond more
when there's a clear benefit for themselves. So why not stress the benefits of getting involved in the
household chores? Help them see it as an opportunity to
develop confidence and independence. When they go off to
college or move into a flat or apartment, how are they going
to feel if they can't cope? How are they going to look in front of friends if they can't
cook, can't wash and iron their clothes, and can't tidy up
after themselves? If they learn these skills, they won't be
stranded! If your kids are coming to household chores after years of
having things done for them, you may need to use a reward
system to help them over their inertia. No, not gold stars
and trips to the zoo! Rather, 'Mow the lawn and you can have the car on Friday
night,' or, 'Let's see what you can do around the house and
we'll review your allowance.' And remember to show them HOW it's done. You may want to
consider working with them the first few times, especially
if it's a task they've never attempted before. This approach has worked well for my wife and I, who are
late-starters in the 'chores for kids' stakes. Remember, if things are done out of a sense of 'duty',
people tend to be ambivalent. On the one hand they may feel
obliged to get on with it, but on the other they may resent
it - and that builds up ill-feeling. Use rewards by all means, but it's better, I think, to help
our kids realise that doing the chores is part of their
development. That way they're more likely to do them
willingly. This may be a tad idealistic, but this approach, when
blended with an attractive reward, can lead to a well-
deserved, easier life for hard-pressed parents. Happy parenting! Why do some parents and children succeed, while others
fail?
Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and
teacher. If you want to develop your parenting
skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be,
visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/for-parents.html
Related News
(ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco parenting) - Examiner.com
Read and be seen: parenting skills for dads - Great Dad
Culinary bad boy Anthony Bourdain dishes on parenting and food - The Canadian Press
Gay adoption ruling favors good parenting over sexual orientation - Sun-Sentinel.com
Learning Parenting 101: Better Late Than Never - Hartford Courant
Learning Parenting 101: Better Late Than NeverHartford Courant, United States -16 hours agoWelcome to Parenting 101, a two-part introduction to the fundamentals of effective child-rearing. Upon passing this course, which will conclude with next ... |
Parenting Tips - Modesto Bee
Parenting TipsModesto Bee, CA -30 minutes agoBy Tom McMahon Yes, 'tis the season for colds and flu. Almost 22 million school days are lost each year to the common cold alone. With a little effort, ... |
(ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco parenting) - Examiner.com
Parenting class offered at Firelands - Port Clinton News Herald
Parenting class offered at FirelandsPort Clinton News Herald, OH -4 hours agoAmong the essential information offered to participants, parents will be taught a step-by-step approach to quickly soothe the fussiest baby. ... |
Positive Parenting Practices May Prevent Aggressive Behavior Among ... - AAP Grand Rounds (registration)
Anderson court records detail accused killer's commitment to parenting - Anderson Independent Mail
|
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Missing The Bus
As a step daughter and step grand daughter, I followed the examples that were set for me years before when I became a step parent. The way my stepson finally came to love and respect me as his step mother, was through all of the "trying" experiences we had. Excuse the pun, but raising kids is a very trying experience!
?Gimme? Proof Your Kids: How To Keep Your Child?s Materialism In Check
It's the first day of the summer holiday. Five year-old Stephanie is shopping with you at Wal-Mart and picks out three stuffed animals that she saw in the movie Madagascar. "Oh Mom please! I want to bring Alex and Gloria and Melman to Kinder Gym with me!" she says and stomps off in disgust when you tell her she has to choose only one.
Taking Home Souvenirs, Not Junk
Gift shops are a kid magnet and often a trip highlight! Do you cringe at the sight inexpensive trinkets and novelty items that will be lost or broken in the span of hours? Plan your souvenir strategy early and help your child assemble a collection that is unique and will last for years to come, preserving the memories of your travels together.
First, come up with a theme. What type of souvenir is fairly common at most tourist locations and has the makings for a great collection? If you set your child on a treasure hunt for specific souvenirs with some sort of common ground, they will be able to tell a story or make an easily displayed collection.
We've collected embroidered patches from the places we've visited with our child and sewn them onto a backpack he takes along on trips, adapting the idea from old suitcases with stickers from exotic locations.
Here are some more ideas for starting your child's souvenir collection:
Postcards. Have your child write himself a note and mail it back home. You can assemble it like a diary when you return from your travels.
Key Chains. They can be collected and put on backpacks or hung on a strip hanging from the wall.
Magnets. You can put them on the refrigerator at home or make a magnetic board to display the collection in your child's bedroom.
Snowglobes or Music Boxes featuring scenes from your travel location.
Crazy sunglasses or hats. They could be relevant to your travel destination or just wacky.
Holiday ornaments. Each holiday, you can recount stories about travels with your children and have a great starter set of special ornaments when your child is grown so he can share his travel memories with his children.
Your Kids Career - Whose Choice?
A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely, a
strange thought occurred. You see, my eldest son
helped me install a new kitchen. He was the expert handyman.
Me? Well, I was the 'gofor'. "Dad, could you go for
this?" "Dad, will you go for that . . ."
How to Cope With Colic
When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor night and day, rocking and swaddling, singing and even crying...anything to make my new little miracle stop her endless crying. Well, everyone told me she just had colic and that it would pass. And, alas, pass it did, however I wish that I would have known then what I know now.
Guide Your Kids! This 3-D Map Leads to Character
A tall, weary-looking mother with glasses, walked into my counseling office with her 10-year-old-daughter. The mother frowned at me and sat down. "Oh-oh!" I thought. "Why are you here?" I inquired.
Lets Protect Our Children
There are software programs that you can purchase to keep your children from accessing undesirable websites. There are two good ones, Cyber Patrol and Net Nanny.
MORAL ARMORS Irrational Parenting, Part I
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did.""-Jack Handey
13 Ways to Spend Time with Your Teenage Daughter
The older my daughter gets the more it's sinking in that I don't have much time left to spend with her! She's turning 16 in a couple of months, and I know I won't be seeing her much after she gets her driver's license.
Registering a Birth in Scotland
The child's mother or father should register the birth within 21 days. However, a father who is not married to the child's
mother can only register a birth and be named on the birth certificate as the father if:
he jointly signs the register with the mother, or
a court has declared that he is the father, or
the mother and he jointly sign a declaration available from
the Registrar.
Personal Honor
There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when they receive validation for the way they are living, or, have lived, that life. These moments are usually quiet ones, with no fanfare celebrating the occasion. Yet, the importance of these moments has no equal. To those of us who have given of our time, our love, our care, ourselves, they are of far greater private, personal significance, than can be stated.
Reading Activities Parents Can Use For Their Children
Using 14 "at" Flashcards To Teach Reading:
Parenting
This article on parenting is by a practicing relationship counsellor/therapist, and father.
Raising Teenagers? Stay C.A.L.M.
Parents of teenagers frequently ask what can be done to improve their relationship with their kids. This can be a challenging time, and a time when parents sometimes feel rejected, out of touch, and unclear about what to do. Here's a simple strategy that can help set you up for a smoother ride.
Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms, Lets Stop Debating Each Other and Debate the System Instead!
I could nearly fund my children's future education if I received money every time I've heard a woman say, "I wish I could afford to stay at home full time." Sometimes you can recognize a few working women making this statement to avoid judgment from the stay-at-home parenting world (and they shouldn't feel this way). However, a majority of these women truly prefer to be at home, and are spending days trapped in a work "cell" and feeling committed for life.
Tips For a First-Time Dad
So you're going to become a father. Now is not the time to panic. You've got lots of time to get used to the idea, before that new life you helped create, arrives to join your own. These tips for a first-time Dad will help you to survive the pre-baby and post-birth jitters.
End Homework Battles
Ask parents what their biggest school year challenge is, and you'll likely hear that it is the difficulty they face in getting their kids to do homework. With so many other attractive ways for kids to spend their time, getting them to buckle down and complete that extra bit of schoolwork can be like pulling teeth. As with any chore, though, there are strategies you can use to get it done and make it more fun.
Raising A High Maintenance Child
Do you have a high maintenance child?
Examining Drugs for ADHD, Particularly Strattera
In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year old Stephanie Hall; and 10 year old Shaina Dunkle and other children who have died from the use of psychotropic drugs for "ADHD".
Single Parents: Give Yourselves Credit
Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.
|
.jpg)